Thursday, January 22, 2009

Palin to write a book

Usually, one starts by reading books and then writing about them, but goshdarnit, our Sarah has different plans! I make this promise to you right now: I will buy this fucker if there isn't a ghostwriter. It would be hilarious! It would be just like the time I had a college professor who talked a little like an ultracaffeinated valley girl, and then wrote tests in his own speaking voice. Craziest damn thing I ever saw.

So many questions: like, is it going to be fiction? Is Sarah going to treat us all to a new installment of Twilight? Let me guess what it's going to be about: Sarah Palin gets selected for a job for which she is woefully underqualified. She tries to make up for it with an almost creepy level of self-assuredness that reminds people of George W. Bush, and her interviews with the media are nothing short of disastrous as they expose her as a lightweight, while home state scandals show an executive comfortable with abusing public power to her own personal ends. More Bush. Clamor begins, even among the right, to dump her from the ticket--this is forestalled by a mediocre but not disastrous debate performance. As her popularity plunges, she begins a desperate freelance campaign to blame the media for her problems, because it couldn't possibly be her fault. America doesn't buy it. As the race wraps up, polls begin showing large chunks of the population saying they wouldn't consider voting for McCain because of Palin. McCain/Palin loses, and she goes back to being governor of a state nobody cares about, but she's desperate to keep her name alive for a desperate 2012 presidential bid, so she writes a book about how the media mistreated her. Oh, no? Gee, what a shock.

I actually kinda liked her when she was picked, but Palin has turned out to be a sheer disaster for the GOP. I am beginning to doubt that she will ever be elected to anything again, as she has spent the last few months reminding everyone that she lost in a particularly embarrassing way possible. If she somehow gets the 2012 nomination it's going to be like McGovern '72, but with the parties flipped. You just see.

The Man, The Myth, The Bio

East Bay, California, United States
Problem: I have lots of opinions on politics and culture that I need to vent. If I do not do this I will wind up muttering to myself, and that's only like one or two steps away from being a hobo. Solution: I write two blogs. A political blog that has some evident sympathies (pro-Obama, mostly liberal though I dissent on some issues, like guns and trade) and a culture blog that does, well, cultural essays in a more long-form manner. My particular thing is taking overrated things (movies, mostly, but other things too) down a peg and putting underrated things up a peg. I'm sort of the court of last resort, and I tend to focus on more obscure cultural phenomena.